Ladies and gentlemen, the nightclub might be going the way of the Roller Disco. Yesterday, Megan Willett of Business Insider posted this article showcasing Fuzipop, a company that throws nightclub parties for kids 12 and under and their parents. Even the DJs are 8 and 9 years old.
From their official trailer (below) it looks like… well, when’s the last time you went to a kid’s birthday party? It seems like as good an environment as any to get a kid hopped up on sugar and let ‘em run wild to some Skrillex in the darkness. Think about it… where else is so accustomed to people puking, pissing themselves and getting into stupid fights? The bonus with kids is that they totally suck at fighting grown-ass adults so they’re actually easier to manage. Plus, “every child must be accompanied by an adult”… that’s an easy way to turn one ticket into two! From CNN‘s coverage:
Inside, parents lined up the full cash bar as their kids leaped around the dance floor shouting out the words to “What Does the Fox Say.”
The tables usually reserved for VIPs ordering pricey bottle service were littered with champagne glasses and juice boxes. The bartender, who’s used to serving a liquored-up, over-21 crowd on Saturday nights, was surprised by how much the parents were imbibing. The most popular drink that afternoon was vodka.
While that might sound horrible to most of you, I’m a 26 year old surrounded 18+ club nights. IT’S THE SAME ****ING THING. A bunch of kids running around listening to the hit of the month knocking into you and spilling your $12 drink. So good for you, Fuzipop. Good for you for taking it one step further. Next we’ll have Kidz Bop 420: Real Trap Kidz! Tracklist: Suavamente, Bird Machine, Every Barney Theme Remix Ever, Harlem Shake, Floss Remix of Lana’s Theme, Rooster in My Rari… you get the idea (But seriously if Kidz Bop came to @Lewdite for music I would not refuse. Who would ****ing refuse that ****?)
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Fuzipop: The New (Real) Club Night For Kids 12 and Under